A Year of Freedom, Favor, and Fullness

The year 2010 is truly a year like no other! It is a year to be thankful to God for because it brought so much blessing in so many forms. Pastor Joey Bonifacio of VCF said it well yesterday morning in church. The "Year of the Lord" is the year of freedom, favor, and fullness and that is what 2010 was like for me!

Here are some of the things I am grateful to the Lord for 2010:

1. Family. I treasure the times I could come home to the Philippines for extended periods so I can spend some quality time with my parents, siblings, nephews, and nieces. The early months, as well as the last two months of 2010 I spent with my parents, sister and her family in Cebu and with my younger brother and his family in Pasig, Manila. It was really, really good bonding time with them as well as an opportunity for me to just be a daughter, sister, and auntie. I have never felt so close to my sister as this time and I find that I am enjoying her company more and more. And I have had some talks with my Mom that made me realize how insensitive I have been to her heart. In the end, one never regrets spending too much time with family. After all the years of wandering... it's always nice to come home.

2. My Nepal and India adventure. Being in Nepal and India was a real blessing for me. I gained so many friends and enjoyed another kind of cross-cultural experience. It was a delight and a time of much needed refreshment for me just to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn to live in community with people from different cultures and of different personalities for five months! In India, I saw through the eyes of Jesus the poor, the sick, and the oppressed and my heart went out to them as I realized that sometimes, all they need is to have someone spend time with them, to listen and to care. I was still, in some ways, "burnt out" when I went on this trip but to find myself surrounded by the wild beauty of magnificent snow peaks, raging rivers, and pine forests stilled my heart and gave me assurance that everything will be alright in Christ!

3. My COOK family. What a blessing to have an extended family who loves me enough to watch my back whether I'm at home in the Philippines or out there somewhere in Asia! Cook loves me just as I am! They know me and I know them and together we are still growing in that knowledge. They pray for me and cheer me on! I am so privileged to have pastors (Thank you, Pastor Jerome and Pastor Doug!) who look out for me and support me and cover me... as a shepherd does for his sheep. They are not afraid to use strong words when needed to show concern over me and to make sure I am on the right path. What an amazing thing the church is! No human could have conceived a temple made up of "living stones" but it was in God's heart all along to show us that we belong to each other and together we make up the whole body with Jesus us our Head!

4. A new season. I am grateful for the fact that God set the sun, moon and the stars in their place to mark the days, months, and years. He made the earth to rotate on its axis (tilting at the perfect angle!) and revolve around the sun to mark the seasons of spring, summer, winter, and fall. To everything there is a beginning and an end and everything that has a beginning has a cause and a purpose. In the same way, we all go through our own "seasons" in life for a purpose-- not just to strengthen us but to move us forward to our destiny. 2010 was for me like the transition period between two seasons. One season came to an end and another is just beginning. Sometimes, it can be difficult to be in transition. I look back and try to hold on to the familiar and I am afraid to move forward into the unknown, unchartered territories. But as in every good story, I am compelled to turn the page and go from one chapter to the next so I can get to the end of the story-- the happy ever after ending!

5. BFFs (Best Friends Forever or low maintenance friends). Everyone needs a BFF, even just one! I am grateful to the Lord for giving me a few from different cultures, not just my own. Every woman needs a support group-- someone to bare your soul to, to laugh with, to cry with, and to ask for godly advice. I will not name them here but you know who you are and I want to thank you for always being "on call" for me and for creating that much needed safe place for me to be myself. You cannot always be physically present but you are always just a phone call or email away!

6. Mentors. In the midst of this fatherless generation, I am grateful to God for providing me with "fathers" (as well as "mothers") who have taken the time to mentor me with their invaluable wisdom that has been gained through years of experience and walking with the Lord. I thank God for my leaders whom I highly respect not only because of their authority over me but because their authority comes from servant leadership. They are the "shepherds after God's own heart" mentioned in Jeremiah 3:15 who guide the people under their care with knowledge and understanding. I also thank God for my now gray-haired parents and the elderly people in my church in whose company I have become wiser. And of course, there are those whom I do not know personally but at whose feet I have sat and "listened" this year: Book authors like John Eldredge, Job, King Solomon, and the Apostle Paul!

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Last but certainly not the least because He is way over the top, I thank God for the gift of Himself! He is the giver of every good and perfect gift and the Father of Lights! Isaiah9:6 says it well. This year, He has been my "Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace!"

Seven is a perfect number so I'll end at seven although there are still so many things to be thankful for. Now that 2010 has come to an end, I can for a moment look back and say, "Wow!" but I can also embrace the new year 2011 and expect greater things to come. It is all because my God is alive and well and in Him every year can be "The year of the Lord"-- a year of freedom, favor, and fullness!

Come, Follow Me!

I first heard God speak to me when I was eleven years old. I think at that time my heart was quiet enough to hear His voice loud and clear. That day, I sat in adult church because I was terribly bored of Sunday School. I was spaced out, only half listening to the message... and then I heard Him speak directly to my heart, "I know you but you don't know Me. Would you like to come and follow me?" The voice jolted me awake not just because it was my first time to "hear" it but because it was a voice that created such a deep yearning-- almost like an unbearable ache in my heart.

I remember going home that day, locking myself up in my room, kneeling by my bedside and asking Jesus to come into my heart. I surrendered my life to Him and invited Him to take control. I came out of my room feeling... different...like a heavy burden just rolled off my shoulders and in its place, I grew wings!

For the next five years, life with the Shepherd was a song. I served God in the church every chance I got. I was full of the bursting energies of youth. I trusted God with my life. And I trusted His people... sometimes to a fault.

Adolescence brought with it conflicting desires and longings and voices that seemed to compete with that one Voice for my attention and for my very heart. "If you hear my voice, do not harden your hearts..." Jesus often said... but I did. My heart became hard and I followed the voices of lesser lovers until I was sucked in by sin and a religious spirit that led me astray... farther and farther away from the Shepherd of my heart.

I have often wondered about this mysterious thing called "free will." Why would a loving Shepherd allow me to wander from the safety of His side? Why doesn't He put the rebellious ones on a leash until they learn their lessons? Why doesn't He use His rod to beat them up every once in a while to break their spirits? Didn't I surrender my life to His control? So why doesn't He "control" me now that my life is careening out of control?

I read this recently in a novel entitled, "The Crown of Eden" by Thomas Williams: "Certainly we are free. But nothing we do can destroy the order and beauty of the master tapestry. Each of us is given a thread and a pattern for its weaving. We are utterly free to weave our thread either by the pattern or in defiance of it. But regardless of how we weave it, we will always find that our thread has been anticipated. You may even choose to leave your thread unwoven, but if you do , there will be no gap in the fabric. You will find that another has been laid down to take its place and the resulting design will be the one originally planned. It is inevitable."

What a relief that despite our bad choices, we cannot mess up God's grand tapestry! Of course we reap the consequences of bad choices but we can rest in the fact that He is able to work all things together for good (yes, even the bad and sad things!) to them who love God. He sets us free to choose Him... again and again for as many times as we need to convince us of His goodness. He is faithful to those who belong to Him... to those who have set their hearts to follow him. Yes, often it does feel like groping in the dark, straining to hear the faintest whisper of his voice. But we make it... not because we have come through... but because He has come through for us!

My life did become a tangled mess and I was stuck in a thorn bush for a long, long time. But in my desperation, I found that God gave me a voice for a reason... so I can cry out to Him for help. Maybe it was just like a tiny lamb's pitiful "baaa!" But the Shepherd has such fierce devotion to His own. He is everything but gentle in Isaiah's description of Him in Isaiah 59:17 to 18: " He put on righteousness as his body armor and placed the helmet of salvation on his head. He clothed himself with a robe of vengeance and wrapped himself in a cloak of divine passion. He will repay his enemies for their evil deeds. His fury will fall on his foes. He will pay them back even to the ends of the earth."

I was in northwest China (the ends of the earth) when I came to my senses and called out the Shepherd's name. He came and rescued me and He let his fury fall on my enemies-- the tempter himself who led me to be tempted in wilderness after wilderness. He showed no mercy on my enemies and trampled them beneath his feet... but me, he gently and lovingly scooped into his arms. He took out his anointing oil and bound up my many wounds. And he sang over me! Then He carried me close to his heart until I was well enough to walk again on my own... this time back on the right path!

That experience had helped me to distinguish His voice from all the rest. His voice, I discovered, doesn't condemn, doesn't shame, confuse, humiliate or threaten. "My sheep will hear My voice," He says. There are times when his words are not easy to accept but I know from experience that he is good and he will not lead me into a path where I will be devoured by wolves. He did not promise a wolf-free path but his rod is never too far to defend me and protect me. And I can rely on his staff to keep me walking in the right direction.

"Come, follow Me!" is His standing invitation to anyone willing to listen to his voice. And as John Piper said, "It is not an invitation to an easy life." To be sure, he will take us on many great and exciting adventures but he also sometimes takes us through many difficult places where we don't want to go. But one thing is certain. We are never alone on that path because he has promised to always be with us. And we can trust that the path he takes us on is the ancient, proven one that leads to the Father. And HE is our final destination!