Come, Follow Me!

I first heard God speak to me when I was eleven years old. I think at that time my heart was quiet enough to hear His voice loud and clear. That day, I sat in adult church because I was terribly bored of Sunday School. I was spaced out, only half listening to the message... and then I heard Him speak directly to my heart, "I know you but you don't know Me. Would you like to come and follow me?" The voice jolted me awake not just because it was my first time to "hear" it but because it was a voice that created such a deep yearning-- almost like an unbearable ache in my heart.

I remember going home that day, locking myself up in my room, kneeling by my bedside and asking Jesus to come into my heart. I surrendered my life to Him and invited Him to take control. I came out of my room feeling... different...like a heavy burden just rolled off my shoulders and in its place, I grew wings!

For the next five years, life with the Shepherd was a song. I served God in the church every chance I got. I was full of the bursting energies of youth. I trusted God with my life. And I trusted His people... sometimes to a fault.

Adolescence brought with it conflicting desires and longings and voices that seemed to compete with that one Voice for my attention and for my very heart. "If you hear my voice, do not harden your hearts..." Jesus often said... but I did. My heart became hard and I followed the voices of lesser lovers until I was sucked in by sin and a religious spirit that led me astray... farther and farther away from the Shepherd of my heart.

I have often wondered about this mysterious thing called "free will." Why would a loving Shepherd allow me to wander from the safety of His side? Why doesn't He put the rebellious ones on a leash until they learn their lessons? Why doesn't He use His rod to beat them up every once in a while to break their spirits? Didn't I surrender my life to His control? So why doesn't He "control" me now that my life is careening out of control?

I read this recently in a novel entitled, "The Crown of Eden" by Thomas Williams: "Certainly we are free. But nothing we do can destroy the order and beauty of the master tapestry. Each of us is given a thread and a pattern for its weaving. We are utterly free to weave our thread either by the pattern or in defiance of it. But regardless of how we weave it, we will always find that our thread has been anticipated. You may even choose to leave your thread unwoven, but if you do , there will be no gap in the fabric. You will find that another has been laid down to take its place and the resulting design will be the one originally planned. It is inevitable."

What a relief that despite our bad choices, we cannot mess up God's grand tapestry! Of course we reap the consequences of bad choices but we can rest in the fact that He is able to work all things together for good (yes, even the bad and sad things!) to them who love God. He sets us free to choose Him... again and again for as many times as we need to convince us of His goodness. He is faithful to those who belong to Him... to those who have set their hearts to follow him. Yes, often it does feel like groping in the dark, straining to hear the faintest whisper of his voice. But we make it... not because we have come through... but because He has come through for us!

My life did become a tangled mess and I was stuck in a thorn bush for a long, long time. But in my desperation, I found that God gave me a voice for a reason... so I can cry out to Him for help. Maybe it was just like a tiny lamb's pitiful "baaa!" But the Shepherd has such fierce devotion to His own. He is everything but gentle in Isaiah's description of Him in Isaiah 59:17 to 18: " He put on righteousness as his body armor and placed the helmet of salvation on his head. He clothed himself with a robe of vengeance and wrapped himself in a cloak of divine passion. He will repay his enemies for their evil deeds. His fury will fall on his foes. He will pay them back even to the ends of the earth."

I was in northwest China (the ends of the earth) when I came to my senses and called out the Shepherd's name. He came and rescued me and He let his fury fall on my enemies-- the tempter himself who led me to be tempted in wilderness after wilderness. He showed no mercy on my enemies and trampled them beneath his feet... but me, he gently and lovingly scooped into his arms. He took out his anointing oil and bound up my many wounds. And he sang over me! Then He carried me close to his heart until I was well enough to walk again on my own... this time back on the right path!

That experience had helped me to distinguish His voice from all the rest. His voice, I discovered, doesn't condemn, doesn't shame, confuse, humiliate or threaten. "My sheep will hear My voice," He says. There are times when his words are not easy to accept but I know from experience that he is good and he will not lead me into a path where I will be devoured by wolves. He did not promise a wolf-free path but his rod is never too far to defend me and protect me. And I can rely on his staff to keep me walking in the right direction.

"Come, follow Me!" is His standing invitation to anyone willing to listen to his voice. And as John Piper said, "It is not an invitation to an easy life." To be sure, he will take us on many great and exciting adventures but he also sometimes takes us through many difficult places where we don't want to go. But one thing is certain. We are never alone on that path because he has promised to always be with us. And we can trust that the path he takes us on is the ancient, proven one that leads to the Father. And HE is our final destination!